Jumat, 19 Juni 2015
You Hurt My Feelings Again
ok maybe this's the thousand time i felt so angry and sick cuz my mom. i can't express when i feel angry or what. i just gave her a death glare or spoke with a high tone. "i'm not a good daughter" i know. but she's so annoying for me, she always said "clean this!, i clean this! why you keep this room in messy!" OK! this is my stuffs if you want to keep clean then go to your stuffs not my stuff. i'm sick of you! i just wanted to runaway from this hell. when everything goes well. something bad will happen and she keeps yelling at me, i never sharing with my mom until my 18th birthday. it might be forever because of what? i don't trust her. i never trust her. maybe my friends said "you have a good mom or i think your mom is kind blablabla" "don't judge a book from the cover" she said i often angry or arrogant or cold-hearted. yes i'm cold-hearted because when my childhood you never gave me a warm-hearted words or hug or anything. i grow up to be an introvert because of you. you nave allow me if i want to play with my friends or go to park. SHE NEVER ALLOWS ME. maybe this's 10% of my feelings. there's a secret inside a secret. i want to ended my life.
Senin, 11 Mei 2015
is this Social anxiety or Broken Home
Let me explain to you guys what is Social Anxiety means
- Social anxiety is a specific form of anxiety. It is an emotion characterized by a discomfort or a fear when a person is in a social interaction that involves a concern of being judged or evaluated by others.
- Broken Home : a house containing a family that is set apart due to tensions and certain problems. ex: a kid's parents constantly fight and he/she feels lonely, depressed, angry. that is a product of a broken home, who may usually get away from the problems by doing bad things (drugs,drink,etc...). broken home can range from a project in NY, a suburb, or ironically, a 5-story mansion
i found this article whose had a similar situation like me
"My mom and I are always fighting and i have had enough of it and so has she. She does not listen to me when i’m trying to tell her how i feel and when she does (which is rare) she doesn’t try to help she just tells me why i’m wrong and how disappointed she is with me. It’s always “okay, but…” and i can’t stand it! I am a very opinionated person, which can be annoying, but so is she. I always say what I think is the right thing when we’re fighting but no matter what her way is the only way and if i think it shouldn’t be she screams at me and slaps me! I have tried many times to just talk to her civilly about things but it always leads to a fight. And she never accepts the fact that sometimes she is wrong, even when she is OBVIOUSLY wrong.
Another thing that she always does to me is tell me all these things that are wrong with me but when i tell her things that she needs to try and work on she says “I am your mother, not your friend we don’t work things out, you listen to me!!” which i think is ridiculous because all i am trying to do is be the bigger person and try to balance things out by compromising. I tell her that i am trying so hard to fix things and that she just needs to put in some effort so that things will work and her response is “Try harder, and do everything i say. Then we won’t need my effort.”
Why we always bickering? if i had a mistake she always yells at me even it's a small mistake. i cried every night but she didn't know it. when she yelling at me, i just can sighing and keep silent for a moment until she done it. when i make some project, she never made me proud of my works, like. when the first time i make a cake, she said that this cake didn't have a good taste or else. i cannot tell my family about my hobby and my future, they'll judge me. in 2012 i went to an Audition for the first time. she said that she wants to see my auditions video. i let her to see it, and guess what did she say? you cannot control you breathing technique, you can't be a singer, just goes study, it's wasting you time and our money. i'm not proud of you. she always judged me as hell. she doesn't care for me maybe be a little but doesn't much. she never love me , even though she said that she loved me because I was her daughter. but i don't feel it. i cried when other friend can be a bestfriend for their parents, i just can't. we were starting bickering maybe from, i? primary school? we used to bickering, my father always separating the two of us. i can't live, i can't stand. i cried every night. keep silent. but she? God let me go to the heaven, i was to tired since then until now.
- Social anxiety is a specific form of anxiety. It is an emotion characterized by a discomfort or a fear when a person is in a social interaction that involves a concern of being judged or evaluated by others.
- Broken Home : a house containing a family that is set apart due to tensions and certain problems. ex: a kid's parents constantly fight and he/she feels lonely, depressed, angry. that is a product of a broken home, who may usually get away from the problems by doing bad things (drugs,drink,etc...). broken home can range from a project in NY, a suburb, or ironically, a 5-story mansion
i found this article whose had a similar situation like me
"My mom and I are always fighting and i have had enough of it and so has she. She does not listen to me when i’m trying to tell her how i feel and when she does (which is rare) she doesn’t try to help she just tells me why i’m wrong and how disappointed she is with me. It’s always “okay, but…” and i can’t stand it! I am a very opinionated person, which can be annoying, but so is she. I always say what I think is the right thing when we’re fighting but no matter what her way is the only way and if i think it shouldn’t be she screams at me and slaps me! I have tried many times to just talk to her civilly about things but it always leads to a fight. And she never accepts the fact that sometimes she is wrong, even when she is OBVIOUSLY wrong.
Another thing that she always does to me is tell me all these things that are wrong with me but when i tell her things that she needs to try and work on she says “I am your mother, not your friend we don’t work things out, you listen to me!!” which i think is ridiculous because all i am trying to do is be the bigger person and try to balance things out by compromising. I tell her that i am trying so hard to fix things and that she just needs to put in some effort so that things will work and her response is “Try harder, and do everything i say. Then we won’t need my effort.”
Why we always bickering? if i had a mistake she always yells at me even it's a small mistake. i cried every night but she didn't know it. when she yelling at me, i just can sighing and keep silent for a moment until she done it. when i make some project, she never made me proud of my works, like. when the first time i make a cake, she said that this cake didn't have a good taste or else. i cannot tell my family about my hobby and my future, they'll judge me. in 2012 i went to an Audition for the first time. she said that she wants to see my auditions video. i let her to see it, and guess what did she say? you cannot control you breathing technique, you can't be a singer, just goes study, it's wasting you time and our money. i'm not proud of you. she always judged me as hell. she doesn't care for me maybe be a little but doesn't much. she never love me , even though she said that she loved me because I was her daughter. but i don't feel it. i cried when other friend can be a bestfriend for their parents, i just can't. we were starting bickering maybe from, i? primary school? we used to bickering, my father always separating the two of us. i can't live, i can't stand. i cried every night. keep silent. but she? God let me go to the heaven, i was to tired since then until now.
Rabu, 06 Mei 2015
25 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With A British Guy
1. When dating a British man, everything goes a bit Notting Hill in the beginning.
2. And you realise, yes, British men are just as charming as you’d always hoped they’d be.
3. Even when they’re a bit drunk (which may or may not happen quite frequently…
4. They say things so different and so adorable that you can’t even handle it.
5. Even better, they find your accent equally as thrilling, even if you’re from the lamest, smallest town that ever was. They’re all like, “I love how you say ‘bowl’ with two syllables even if there’s only one.” And you’re like, “What? No I don’t.” And then, oh, how they laugh.
6. You learn that the muted, simpler expressions of love and affection are just as meaningful as showy forms of PDA.
7. You immediately feel 100% more assertive in restaurants as your terribly polite British partner doesn’t like shouting “EXCUSE ME” across a busy restaurant.
8. You learn the hard way that your tolerance to alcohol is nowhere near that of your British significant other.
9. Arguments sound terribly theatrical, as everything sounds more dramatic when said in a British accent.
10. The first time you encounter a British male’s, eh, Union Jack, you will notice things might be a bit different compared with what you’re used to.
11. But you soon figure out that things work exactly the same way. Just with different… accessories.
12. Learning how to make a proper cup of tea for them is one of the most important things you will ever learn how to do.
13. The pressure of making tea for your partner’s family when they come over is also IMMENSE.And unfortunately for you, they never decline a cuppa. SO MUCH TEA PRESSURE.
14. But having British in-laws and a new British family is, as they say, wicked.
15. Alternatively, whenever you bring your British boyfriend back home, people react in the strangest of ways.
16. Some people just don’t understand where they’re from. “The U.K.? Is that The Ukraine?”
17. And if you’re from a small town, it’s like you’ve brought actual Prince William to visit.
18. If your partner is into sports, you’ll no doubt need to learn the rules for things like cricket and rugby.
19. You get used to having a thousand tea mugs in your kitchen (which will subsequently end up all over your house.)
20. Dates that were originally planned as “let’s go to the pub for one and then go to dinner” quickly become “let’s get pissed together and then grab a dirty burger on the way home.”
21. Learning to cook their favourite meals becomes a Very Important Task. You plan on creating the perfect British meals with flawless perfection. As you take on this task, you feel AMAZING and CONFIDENT.
22. It’s forever amusing to make them say words that are usually part of your vocabulary.
23. As your lovely partner grew up in a different culture, they have different taste in films, music, and books, which means THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.
24. You find it adorable when they posh-up their accent when speaking to their parents (or ordering pizza.)
25. British men love jumpers, which means there will be PLENTY of jumpers for you to steal. OH YEAH.
Credit : http://www.buzzfeed.com/catesevilla/things-that-happen-when-you-fall-in-love-with-a-british-g#.btqwj4en4
2. And you realise, yes, British men are just as charming as you’d always hoped they’d be.
3. Even when they’re a bit drunk (which may or may not happen quite frequently…
4. They say things so different and so adorable that you can’t even handle it.
5. Even better, they find your accent equally as thrilling, even if you’re from the lamest, smallest town that ever was. They’re all like, “I love how you say ‘bowl’ with two syllables even if there’s only one.” And you’re like, “What? No I don’t.” And then, oh, how they laugh.
6. You learn that the muted, simpler expressions of love and affection are just as meaningful as showy forms of PDA.
7. You immediately feel 100% more assertive in restaurants as your terribly polite British partner doesn’t like shouting “EXCUSE ME” across a busy restaurant.
8. You learn the hard way that your tolerance to alcohol is nowhere near that of your British significant other.
9. Arguments sound terribly theatrical, as everything sounds more dramatic when said in a British accent.
10. The first time you encounter a British male’s, eh, Union Jack, you will notice things might be a bit different compared with what you’re used to.
11. But you soon figure out that things work exactly the same way. Just with different… accessories.
12. Learning how to make a proper cup of tea for them is one of the most important things you will ever learn how to do.
13. The pressure of making tea for your partner’s family when they come over is also IMMENSE.And unfortunately for you, they never decline a cuppa. SO MUCH TEA PRESSURE.
14. But having British in-laws and a new British family is, as they say, wicked.
15. Alternatively, whenever you bring your British boyfriend back home, people react in the strangest of ways.
16. Some people just don’t understand where they’re from. “The U.K.? Is that The Ukraine?”
17. And if you’re from a small town, it’s like you’ve brought actual Prince William to visit.
18. If your partner is into sports, you’ll no doubt need to learn the rules for things like cricket and rugby.
19. You get used to having a thousand tea mugs in your kitchen (which will subsequently end up all over your house.)
20. Dates that were originally planned as “let’s go to the pub for one and then go to dinner” quickly become “let’s get pissed together and then grab a dirty burger on the way home.”
21. Learning to cook their favourite meals becomes a Very Important Task. You plan on creating the perfect British meals with flawless perfection. As you take on this task, you feel AMAZING and CONFIDENT.
22. It’s forever amusing to make them say words that are usually part of your vocabulary.
23. As your lovely partner grew up in a different culture, they have different taste in films, music, and books, which means THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.
24. You find it adorable when they posh-up their accent when speaking to their parents (or ordering pizza.)
25. British men love jumpers, which means there will be PLENTY of jumpers for you to steal. OH YEAH.
Credit : http://www.buzzfeed.com/catesevilla/things-that-happen-when-you-fall-in-love-with-a-british-g#.btqwj4en4
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